Several years ago, I took some Peking University students for a Q&A with Warren Buffett in Omaha (see write-up here).

And one of the most interesting parts of the visit was his comments on how to be a better person. And on the importance of becoming the best version of yourself.

I thought I would summarize his comments on this. I re-read my notes on this pretty frequently.

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This particular discussion started with a question he put to the students.

If you could invest in only one of your fellow classmates, who would you choose?

If you could buy 10% of the future earnings of just one classmate, who would you choose? What would you look for?

That’s a pretty fun question to think about.

• Would you choose the person with the highest IQ?
• The person with the highest grades?
• The person with really successful parents?

His point was that you would probably not look at such things You would think about personal qualities.

• Who is the hardest working student?
• Who is the one with the best daily habits?
• Who is the person that everyone wants to work with?

You would look for the person who was the most effective. And that would mostly be about personal qualities, not business metrics or test scores.

He went on at length about how you want to become the person that everyone would choose. You want to become the best version of yourself, over time.

I came away with three sort of lessons / tricks on how to do this.

Trick 1: Ask Yourself “Would this Person Hire Me?”

Warren spoke about his old friend Tom Murphy, a Berkshire board member who was the Chairman and CEO of Capital Cities/ABC until 1996. This was a media conglomerate that included CBS affiliates. Warren said Tom (who passed in 2022) was someone that virtually everyone likes. And he was someone Warren said he would basically do anything for. He said Tom was someone that just turned people on.

So how did Tom do this? Why was he so well liked, by virtually everyone?

I think that Tom exceled at getting the best out of other people. He makes other people better. Constantly. In every interaction.

Myself, I am not naturally good at this. I tend to be inward focused. I am a thinker by personality and habit. But Warren mentioned one trick to become a better person is to ask yourself:

“Would this person hire me?”

I have been trying this and I find it does work. In any conversation, it keeps me thinking about how the other person perceives me and if I am helping them. Have I brought out something positive in them? Am I being helpful? Am I acting in a way such that they would be happy to have me on their team or project?

Or am I just listening a bit while waiting to make my next point?

I really liked Warren’s point that you want to try and be the person that everyone in class would invest in. And you always want to try to be moving in that direction. It’s a process.

Trick 2: Don’t Be Someone that Turns People Off

Buffett raised another interesting question which was:

Which one of your classmates would you sell short?

That is pretty funny and a great question. He said you would probably sell short the person that turns you and other people off.

Of course, as soon as he said this, everyone (including myself) immediately wondered “is that me?”. And I immediately thought of a couple things I do that probably does turn people off.

The take-away here is maybe you aren’t the person everyone would invest in. Maybe you aren’t Tom Murphy. That’s a long-term process. 

But you can definitely avoid being the person people would short. You can accomplish this almost immediately. Ask yourself, what am I doing that turns people off? Make a list of 3 things. And stop doing them.

Here’s my list:

1. I like to argue. That’s fine with people who like to debate ideas. But it’s annoying for most people in most conversations. It’s a bad habit.
2. I’m slow returning emails and phone calls. That is definitely annoying. I noticed that Warren Buffett’s office returns emails and proposals in 1-2 days. It’s pretty impressive. Pitch him anything and you will get a reply in about 1-2 days (almost always a polite no). People don’t have to follow-up or wonder if he got the proposal. Giving a fast no is a good habit.
3. I am impatient. This is really bad. When things don’t happen fast enough, I get frustrated. 

Fortunately, not doing things that turn people off is pretty easy.

Trick 3: You Become Better Step-by-Step

He made the point that these are all things you can choose to be in life. They are actually under your control and are not that hard to change.

• You can be the jerk. Or you be fair minded.
• You can be short with people. Or you can be patient.
• You can be aggressive in interactions. Or you can be generous.

And so on. These are all qualities you can develop. And you can also easily avoid the qualities and habits that turn people off.

Warren recommended that you start with one habit to change. Just pick one thing, like being more charitable or patient.

And the nice part is that the things that you do for others really do come back to you. If you put something out like charity and affection, it will come back to you much more. He said it’s almost easy to change with that sort of feedback loop.

Finally, he mentioned you should hold yourself to “high but not impossible standards”.

Don͛’t try to be perfect. Just keep aiming toward the person you want to be. Basically, he says human behavior is not complicated.

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I thought that was all really helpful. And I’ve dialed it into my weekly calendar. We’ll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading, Jeff

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From the Concept Library, concepts for this article are:

• n/a 

From the Company Library, companies for this article are:

• Warren Buffett

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I write, speak and consult about how to win (and not lose) in digital strategy and transformation.

I am the founder of TechMoat Consulting, a boutique consulting firm that helps retailers, brands, and technology companies exploit digital change to grow faster, innovate better and build digital moats. Get in touch here.

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